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Driving In Arizona – Funny

Fun realization about the seriousness of driving in Arizona...

Driving In Arizona – Funny

  1. The city of Phoenix is pronounced: FEE-NICKS’. There are plenty of other names to learn especially if English is your only language. Names such as Piestewa Peak (pie-ESS-tuh-wah) or ( Awatukee (Ah-wa-Too-Kee).
  2. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 am to 12-noon. The evening rush hour is from 12-noon to 8:00 pm. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning and ends Friday after 8pm.
  3. The minimum acceptable speed on our freeways depends on the season, but usually it is 80 mph.
  4. Forget the traffic rules you learned in your home town. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. Example, at a 4 way stop; who is in the biggest hurry goes first; the biggest or most lifted trucks go second, however the SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
  5. Traffic signs are for display only, even though directional signs at an intersection show left turn only, assume that everyone in front you on the inside turn line will perform a U Turn. In the event you are turning right at a stop/intersection those turning illegal U-Turns believe they have the right-away…NO KIDDING.
  6. On the freeways, the lines are painted as suggested driving areas only. Feel free to meander all over the road until the last second when you want to exit. Then just cut across however many lanes you need and everyone else will accommodate you.
  7. When a light turns green, count to 4 before you go, sooner you will be one finger hand signaled and honked at by the persons running the red light, if you go later you will be honked at from behind for taking too long.
  8. I do not recommend stopping for a yellow light, most likely you will be rear ended.
  9. If you don’t like or agree with someone’s driving, just lay on you horn until you feel satisfied. This helps keep you from acting out severe road rage.
  10. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Arizona. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment during the the night to make the next day’s driving more exciting and entertaining.
  11. Watch carefully for road hazards such as, Barrels, Car-parts, Bobcats, Mattresses, Rattle Snakes, Rabbits, Javelinas, Roadrunners, and the Coyotes feeding on any of these items.
  12. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the ‘I-10’ are the same road. SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street. SR 101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn’t become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain.
  13. If someone actually has a turn signal on, wave to them with the AZ approved blinking hand signal to immediately to let them know it has been ‘accidentally activated.
  14. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be ‘flipped off’ accordingly. If you return the flip, you could be followed, cursed, cut off or worse.
  15. In most states in America the far-left lane is for the fastest moving traffic, in AZ any lane may be the fast one for the moment. Usually the fast lane is filled with Priuses traveling below the speed limit.
  16. When it rains everyone freaks out and drives like it’s a snow storm.
  17. For summer driving, it is advisable to keep potholders on your person for entry into your car after sitting parked.
  18. The biggest problem with driving in AZ is almost no one is FROM AZ. Drivers are imported from various regions around the US and world.
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